There’s also the fact that people who say things like this tend to see the world in black and white, either or, this or that, and that drives me crazy, too. Because guess what? We live in a complex, diverse world, and if you establish rules to follow for your whole life, creating such a rigid outlook, you’re not only missing out—you’re alienating a heck of a lot. And you shouldn’t vote. (I kid. But really, when you vote, you do need to see the bigger picture, no?)

People who threaten to end relationships and friendships because of a lie drive me nuts. You know, my husband recently lied to me and told me he returned the damn Redbox DVD when he actually did not, accruing charges on our account. Was I pissed? You bet! Are we getting divorced over it? Um, yeah right. Seriously, if you can’t move on from a lie—both parties, depending on what the lie is in regarding—then how will you handle the bigger things that life throws at you?

Please stop with the big “You can’t handle the lie!” thing already. You know what? I care for a mentally challenged aunt and have to lie to her sometimes—or at least omit things from her—because they will do nothing but cause her unnecessary distress, damaging her routine and causing confusion about things that she may not understand anyway. And guess what? She lies to me all of the time (usually about things I do need to know the truth about, but it doesn’t make me stop loving her!).

I lie to my child sometimes. For example, when we had to take my parent’s dog to the shelter, we told her he went to a farm where he could be happy. He very well may have, but he may not have. I’ve told my mother I had to work rather than admit I didn’t have the gas to go to her house. I’ve told my spouse that I’m okay with making love when really I’m not in the mood at all. (Okay, so I’ll probably get in the mood once he starts.) And I’m sure you’ve told people a lot of things that weren’t completely true, too. And if you haven’t, well, you’re likely not human and perhaps we should dissect you for study so we can all become that perfect, too.