“I hate liars! Liars suck! If you lie to me, I’ll never trust you again!”

Oy.

I have had it up to here with people who keep regurgitating these same lines over and over again. The thing is, I don’t condone lying; I don’t. Lying isn’t something we should strive to do, nor is it something we should encourage others to do. And nobody likes being lied to. That's like announcing, "I hate being bitten/ burning my finger/ being told I'm fat/ getting shot at with a bazooka and people who do these things suck!" 

But it’s human. And it’s common. Seriously, if you hate liars, you hate pretty much everybody. The average male lies six times per day; the average female, three. Think about it. If you were recorded for an entire week—hell, an entire day—how many lies would people find out about you?

Have you ever lied, for example, about any of the following?

• Having to work or participate in another prior engagement rather than attend one you don’t want to attend
• Told someone you liked their recipe/ outfit/ hairdo/ shoes/ pet/ laugh/ Tom Selleck autographed photo/ mother when really you couldn’t stand it
• Having another reason for not going somewhere or doing something when you were really broke and didn’t want someone to know you didn’t have the gas money
• Being sick to get out of work/ school/ chores/ a date/ pretty much anything
• Flossing every day to your dentist—or working out to your doctor
• Explained away a thoughtless friend or relative who failed to show up to hang out with your child, leaving him severely disappointed

Yeah, they add up quickly. I know plenty of people who claim to be honest every second of the day, and I have two problems with this:

1. No you’re not.
2. If you were, I sure as hell would not want to be your friend.

I don’t want to know about the time you crushed a frog as a kid, stole from your grandmother, or had sex with someone to get back at your ex. If we’re close and you need to confess, fine, but you know what? There are some things that you can simply take to the grave with you. It’s your right.

I don’t mean this about cheating, of course. People simply shouldn’t cheat one another and if you do, you need to come clean, for sure. But if your partner asks if you made out with a certain person long before he or she was your partner and you know he or she just wants ammunition for a fight, you don’t really have to disclose it. It’s none of anyone’s business. Sure, if you want to disclose such information you can, but really your past is yours alone. (That doesn’t mean that you don’t tell your partner if you have an STD, of course.)